Suffering is universal and built into the structure of life—every life form encounters obstacles necessary for evolution and growth. Rather than seeking to eliminate obstacles or positive-think our way past them, the most effective response is to accept each moment as if you had chosen it. This shift in relationship to what arises—from resistance to acceptance—dissolves unnecessary suffering created by the mind's identification with thoughts and complaints. The practice works across two levels of suffering: the mind-created kind that stems from unconscious thought patterns, and the body-based challenges that come with embodied existence. Without obstacles, there would be no human evolution.
Why Does Every Life Form Encounter Obstacles?
At the foundation of Tolle's teaching lies a simple observation: suffering and obstacles are not aberrations or punishments. They are woven into the fabric of existence itself. From the moment any life form comes into being—whether human, animal, or plant—it faces challenges and precarity. Life is inherently hard. There is no life form that escapes this. Humans encounter obstacles to growth and expansion throughout their lives, from childhood through old age, in relationships, health, work, and circumstance.
This reality troubles many people. They look at their lives and see a pattern: wherever they turn, obstacles appear. Some conclude that life is actively sabotaging their happiness, or that the universe is against them. Others adopt the New Age belief that if they simply maintain positive thinking hard enough, obstacles will cease. But Tolle points out that positive thinking, while valuable and capable of producing real shifts in perception, does not exempt you from encountering the obstacles that life will place in your path. This is not pessimism—it is realism. And this realism is essential to understanding how to work skillfully with suffering.
What Are the Two Sources of Suffering?
Tolle identifies two distinct layers of suffering. Understanding the difference is crucial to working with them.
Mind-created suffering: Much of the suffering humans experience originates not from external circumstances but from the unconscious use of mind itself. When you identify completely with thought—when you believe you are your mind—you operate from what Tolle calls the "egoic mind." This mind continuously generates conflict and unnecessary problems. A challenge that could be solved easily becomes, through unconscious mental processing, a much larger problem. You create suffering by resisting, complaining about, and dramatizing situations through thought patterns you aren't aware of.
Tolle uses his own awakening as an example. For years, he suffered from depression and internal anguish. The suffering served a purpose: it eventually brought him to a breaking point. "I can't live with myself anymore," he said one night in bed. At that moment, he realized something crucial—the "myself" that couldn't live anymore was itself an illusion, a construct of the unhappy mind. Before that realization came, however, he had to endure years of suffering. The suffering was necessary. It was only through hitting that wall that he became conscious enough to see through the illusion of the mind-created self.
This is why Tolle says you must experience the suffering that comes from unconscious use of mind. There is no bypass. You cannot think your way out of it while still identified with thinking. Only when the suffering becomes unbearable do you finally stop identifying with the mind that creates it. Only then does awakening become possible.
Body-based suffering: Even after the mind's suffering is dissolved through awakening, there remains the suffering that comes with having a physical form. As the body ages—and all bodies age—it encounters limitations, pain, illness, and eventual decline. No amount of exercise, nutrition, or longevity medicine can prevent this process. At some point, the body that was once a source of pleasure and identity can become a source of burden and suffering.
Tolle shares the example of his mother, who had always deeply identified with her body—its beauty, its appearance, the attention it received. As she aged, she developed hip problems, fractures, and increasing frailty. Rather than accept the isness of physical aging, she clung to her former identity and resisted her changing body. This resistance created tremendous suffering. There were rare moments when she could disidentify from her body, but they were brief. "This is the destiny of many humans," Tolle observes. The suffering wasn't primarily the limited movement—it was the identification with the body-based identity and the resistance to change.
What Is the Simple Recipe for Working with Suffering?
Tolle offers a remarkably practical solution: Accept each moment as if you had chosen it.
This is not a demand that you believe you literally created every circumstance or that you should blame yourself for hardship. The new-age tendency to ask "How did you create that?" when someone slips on a banana peel and breaks their leg is, Tolle notes, both unhelpful and often untrue. Whether you consciously or unconsciously created a particular obstacle is, in his view, beside the point.
What matters is this: the moment already is the case. It is already here. Whether you chose it, caused it, or it simply appeared, the present reality cannot be changed retroactively. So why not accept it as if you had chosen it? This shift in relationship to what arises is transformative.
When you accept a moment as if you had chosen it, your entire attitude shifts. You stop being the complaining entity that says "This shouldn't be here" or "I'm a victim of circumstance." You go with the isness of things. From that acceptance, if action is needed, you can act from clarity rather than resistance. If no action is possible, you don't compound the situation with mental resistance and complaint. The obstacle then dissolves more quickly because you are no longer fighting it with the mind.
This practice works across both types of suffering. For mind-created suffering, it interrupts the automatic complaint-loop that the unconscious mind generates. For body-based suffering—aging, illness, limitation—it prevents the additional layer of mental suffering that comes from resistance and identity-loss. You move from "This is terrible and shouldn't be" to "This is what is, and I accept it." That acceptance doesn't deny the difficulty, but it removes the psychological multiplication of suffering through resistance.
Why Are Obstacles Necessary for Evolution?
Tolle returns repeatedly to a crucial point: obstacles are not obstacles to growth—they are the very mechanism of growth. Without obstacles, no life form would evolve. Without challenges, there would be no human evolution whatsoever. What looks like a barrier to your progress is actually, potentially, an opening. That which seems to stop you can make you more conscious if you work with it rightly.
This reframes the entire relationship to difficulty. You are not a victim of a universe that keeps throwing problems your way. You are a conscious being encountering the necessary friction through which consciousness itself develops. Every obstacle that arises in your life—especially when you can accept it as if you had chosen it—becomes material for deepening awareness. The obstacle is the path.
What Is the Role of Thought Identification in Suffering?
Underlying both layers of suffering is a fundamental misidentification: believing that you are your thoughts. When you identify with thinking, that identification becomes what Tolle calls ego. Ego is not a thing—it is a process of thought-identification. Many people carry around hostile, life-denying, critical, attacking entities in their heads and believe that voice is who they are.
To become free of ego means becoming free of identification with thought. This doesn't mean thinking stops. It means you are no longer compulsively attached to or controlled by thoughts. Thoughts arise and pass like clouds in the sky, but you are not the clouds, and you are not fighting them. This freedom from thought-identification is what allows you to work with suffering without being consumed by it. It allows you to accept each moment as if you had chosen it, because you are no longer the defensive, complaining entity that resists reality.
Where to Go From Here
Begin experimenting with the practice of accepting each moment as if you had chosen it. Start small, with minor irritations or small obstacles, and notice what shifts when you stop resisting and instead adopt acceptance. Observe how quickly situations resolve when you are no longer fighting them mentally. Notice the difference between the primary suffering (the actual difficulty) and the secondary suffering (your mind's complaint about the difficulty). These are often separate, and the secondary is where your power lies.
Examine where you are still identified with thought—where you believe the critical, complaining voice in your head is you. Practice observing thoughts arise without immediately believing or acting on them. This is the path to freedom from ego-created suffering. Finally, look at your own obstacles not as evidence that life is against you, but as the exact friction necessary for your consciousness to deepen. Every challenge is an invitation to wake up.
German-born spiritual teacher whose 1997 book The Power of Now became one of the most widely read spiritual works of the 21st century. After a profound transformation at 29 — movin…
Positive thinking is helpful but doesn't exempt you from life's obstacles. Instead, accept each moment as if you had chosen it. This shift in relationship to what arises—from resistance to acceptance—dissolves suffering more quickly than mental resistance. The key is disidentifying from the complaining mind and going with the isness of things.
Suffering rooted in unconscious thought patterns and resistance is necessary for awakening—it eventually teaches you to stop identifying with the mind. Body-based suffering from aging and illness cannot be eliminated, but it doesn't have to turn into psychological suffering if you accept each moment without resistance.
Mind-created suffering comes from resisting reality and identifying with thoughts; it's unnecessary. External obstacles (illness, loss, accident) are part of embodied life. Both can be worked with the same recipe: accept each moment as if you had chosen it, and they become opportunities for deeper consciousness rather than sources of suffering.
You're not saying you wanted it to happen. The moment is already here. By accepting it as if you had chosen it, you stop fighting reality with your mind. This acceptance dissolves resistance, allowing you to act clearly if action is needed, rather than compounds the situation with mental complaint.
Ego is identification with thinking—believing the critical, complaining voice in your head is you. This identification creates unnecessary mental suffering. To become free of ego means becoming free of compulsive thought identification, which allows you to observe thoughts without being controlled by them.
Without obstacles, no life form would evolve. Challenges force you to develop new capacities and deeper consciousness. What looks like a barrier to progress is actually the mechanism of growth. When you accept obstacles and work with them consciously, they become openings for expanding awareness.
