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Inspiration

Finding Truth in Emptiness: ASong on Self-Love and Surrender

Ayla Nereo
Ayla Nereo
Apr 14, 2013
6 min read
Watch · 8

Ayla Nereo's song "Wasted Hours" explores the seeming futility of romantic longing, emotional emptiness, and the search for self-worth through another person—only to arrive at a liberating realization: these struggles are not wasted at all. They are the very process by which we learn to know ourselves, align with our authentic truth, and discover what it means to love without conditions. The song moves from the surface complaint ("wasted hours spent pining") through a dark interrogation of inner emptiness, to a final affirmation that every moment of seeking, even when misdirected, contains sacred meaning.

Read · 6 sections

What Are "Wasted Hours" Really About?

At face value, "Wasted Hours" catalogs the regrets of romantic attachment: time spent pining after someone, flowers given as gestures of devotion, words spoken to convince another person of one's worth. The opening lines establish a litany of loss—effort expended on someone else, belief invested in proving oneself worthy of their love. But Nereo immediately complicates this narrative. The song's central move is the realization that labeling these experiences as "wasted" misses something essential about their function.

The phrase "it's not wasted breath" repeats through the first section like a gentle correction, suggesting that even the attempts to convince another of your goodness, even the flowers and words, had a purpose beyond their apparent target. They were not directed at the other person alone; they were also showing you something about yourself. This reframing is the heart of the song: what looks like waste—effort aimed at someone who may never reciprocate—is actually the machinery of self-discovery.

Why Do We Feel Empty When We Search Outside Ourselves?

Midway through the song, Nereo shifts from nostalgic regret to an acute diagnosis of the present moment: "I feel so empty sometimes / feels like I need another to fill this hole inside." This is not poetic exaggeration. It names the core wound that drives romantic seeking—the belief that one's incompleteness can be solved by another person's presence, love, or validation.

What follows is a cascade of verbs: "I'm reaching, I'm searching, I'm seeking / and I'm wanting, I'm asking, I'm needing." This rhythmic listing does not judge the reaching; it names it with almost anthropological precision. The emptiness itself becomes a kind of oracle. Rather than dismissing it as pathology or weakness, the song asks: what if this emptiness has something to teach?

Nereo then poses a direct question to the beloved—"maybe baby you can go down deep / where is that hole?" She invites the listener (and perhaps herself) to investigate the source of the feeling, not to numb it or to distract from it with another person, but to follow it into its depths. "Maybe baby you can go in deeper / what does it sound like?" The hole has a voice. The emptiness itself, when met with curiosity rather than panic, becomes a path to something more.

What Does It Mean to Give Nothing Less Than Love?

The song's turning point arrives with a declaration: "I do not want to give anything less than love / and I do not want to for anything else in your whole heart." This line operates on multiple registers. On one level, it is a statement of commitment to a lover—a promise to offer only authentic care. But read differently, it is a commitment to oneself: I will not settle for anything less than love as my own operating principle.

This distinction matters. The song began with attempts to prove worth to another. Here, Nereo begins to reclaim the energy of her own love-giving for herself. She will not fragment her heart or dilute her love by distributing it in exchange for validation or scraps of attention. The fullness of her love becomes a boundary, not a gift to be rationed.

The section that follows—"it's holy"—crystallizes this shift. What is holy? Not the beloved. Not the romance. The experience itself. The speaking of truth. The simple act of being heard and being heard by oneself. Nereo sings, "nothing outside / are no exceptions to what is inside"—suggesting that the external world, the other person, cannot grant what is already complete within.

Are Hours Spent Alone With Yourself Really Wasted?

By the song's end, Nereo has fully inverted its opening premise. She now sings, "it's not wasted hours spent being alone / just with yourself / and no wasted flowers given just for giving out / and no wasted words heard and spoken / simply to be your truth." The solitude that might have seemed like failure or loneliness becomes the very medium of truth-telling.

To be alone with yourself and speak your truth—to say what is genuinely true for you, without an audience, without the pressure of convincing—is reframed as the opposite of waste. It is the primary work. Giving flowers becomes valuable not when they charm a lover, but when they emerge from authentic generosity rather than need. Words become powerful not when they persuade, but when they simply articulate what is real for you.

Nereo closes with a final restatement: "it's not wasted hours trying to understand / why you love someone / and how you want to be loved / trying to get to know yourself / so you can love yourself that much." The seeking itself—the attempt to understand your own capacity for love, your own needs and desires—is not wasted. It is the essential curriculum of becoming a person who can love authentically.

How Does Silence Relate to Finding What You Need?

In the darkest moment of the song, Nereo invokes silence: "listen to silence." This is not an escape from the emotional intensity that precedes it. It is a practice. After the cascading verbs of reaching and seeking, after the interrogation of what the hole sounds like, there is an instruction to stop the noise, the chasing, the talking. To listen instead.

Silence, in this context, is not empty. It is the space where you hear what is already present—your own voice, your own truth, the vibration of your own being. It is a reversal of the dynamic established at the song's opening, where words were spent trying to convince another of your worth. In silence, there is no one to convince. You meet yourself as you are.

What Is the Spiritual Function of Longing?

The song's deepest insight is that longing is not a symptom of failure or lack of spirituality. It is a teaching tool. Every unfulfilled desire, every moment of emptiness, every hour spent seeking in the wrong direction—these are not detours from the spiritual path. They are the path itself. They show you where you are still looking outside for what is within. They reveal what needs to be integrated, understood, and integrated within your own consciousness.

Nereo's genius is not in solving the problem of loneliness or romantic disappointment. It is in suggesting that the solving is not the point. The point is the transformation that happens when you stop trying to be proved worthy by another and start acknowledging the worthiness that is already yours. The wasted hours were never actually wasted. They were the slow, necessary work of coming home to yourself.

Transcript

[0:02] this is a song for all the wasted hours

[0:05] spent pining after someone and all the

[0:09] wasted flowers you wanted just to give

[0:13] them out and all the wasted words trying

[0:17] to prove they were good for you it's not

[0:20] way dead breath it's not way dead breath

[0:25] it's not wasted breath it's not wasted

[0:31] cuz all those wasted hours we're trying

[0:34] to show you something more about those

[0:37] wasted flowers to see just what you're

[0:41] giving for and all the wasted words

[0:45] we're heard and spoken simply To Be Your

[0:49] Truth simply to be heard and

[0:52] spoken simply To Be Your

[0:54] Truth simply to be heard and spoken by

[0:58] you

[1:03] [Applause]

[1:05] then what is my truth and why do I want

[1:10] to say and is my meaning and is my way

[1:17] cuz I feel so empty sometimes feels like

[1:20] I need another to fill this hole inside

[1:22] and I'm reaching I'm searching I'm

[1:24] seeking and I'm wanting I'm asking I'm

[1:27] needing and I'm reaching I'm searching

[1:29] I'm seeking

[1:30] and I'm wanting I'm asking I'm needing

[1:33] cuz I feel so empty sometimes feels like

[1:36] I need another to fill this ho inside

[1:38] and I'm reaching I'm searching I'm

[1:40] seeking and I'm wanting I'm asking I'm

[1:48] needing maybe baby you can go down deep

[1:53] where is that hole maybe baby you can go

[1:56] in deeper what does it sound like baby

[2:01] you can find what you

[2:02] see into the darkness maybe baby you

[2:06] will find much more listen to

[2:14] silence and I do not want

[2:17] [Music]

[2:20] to give anything less than

[2:25] love and I do not want to

[2:32] for anything else in your whole

[2:36] heart and I do not want

[2:41] to give anything L than

[2:46] love and I do not want

[2:49] [Music]

[2:52] you just not for anything l in my whole

[2:56] heart

[2:57] [Music]

[3:07] it's

[3:10] holy it's

[3:12] oh

[3:13] [Music]

[3:16] holy nothing outside are no exceptions

[3:19] to what

[3:20] [Music]

[3:22] iside are no extion to what

[3:28] is nothing

[3:31] there are no EXs to what

[3:35] iside there are to what

[3:41] iss to what

[3:43] [Music]

[3:46] is and it's not wasted hours spent being

[3:51] alone just with yourself and no wasted

[3:56] flowers given just for giving out and no

[4:00] wasted words hard and spoken simply To

[4:05] Be Your

[4:06] Truth simply to be heard and

[4:09] spoken simply To Be Your

[4:11] Truth simply to be heard and

[4:15] spoken it's not waste and breath it's

[4:19] not waste in breath it's not waste and

[4:24] breath it's not way still breath it's

[4:28] not way stand breath bre it's not way

[4:32] still breath it's not way still breath

[4:36] it's not

[4:38] wasted and it's not wasted hours trying

[4:43] to understand why you love

[4:45] someone and how you want to be loved

[4:49] trying to get to know yourself so you

[4:52] can love yourself that much

Ayla Nereo
AuthorAyla Nereo

Northern California-born musician blending folk, electronic, and world music to explore themes of nature, love, and spiritual awakening through immersive, multi-sensory performance…

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Explore Topics
Self-loveLonging-emptinessAuthentic-truthRomantic-attachmentSpiritual-seeking

Got Questions?

Frequently Asked Questions

In Nereo's song, 'wasted hours' initially refers to time spent pining after someone and trying to prove one's worth through romantic gestures. However, the song reframes these hours as not wasted at all—they are the process through which you learn about yourself, discover your authentic voice, and understand what genuine love means, rather than waste driven by neediness.
The song names the feeling directly—'I feel so empty sometimes / feels like I need another to fill this hole inside'—but instead of dismissing this emptiness, it invites you to investigate it. Nereo suggests that the hole has a voice and a message, and exploring it with curiosity, rather than trying to fill it with another person, is the path to understanding yourself.
This statement is a commitment to yourself not to fragment or dilute your love in exchange for validation or scraps of attention from others. It means your love is sacred and whole, not something to be rationed or used as currency for approval. You will not offer anything less than your genuine, full-hearted presence.
According to Nereo's song, solitude spent with yourself—speaking your truth without trying to convince anyone—is the opposite of waste. The loneliness you feel can become the medium of self-discovery and truth-telling, transforming what feels like failure into the essential work of knowing yourself.
Nereo's song suggests that longing and unfulfilled desire are not failures on the spiritual path; they are the path itself. Each moment of seeking in the wrong direction teaches you about yourself and reveals where you are still looking outside for what already exists within you.
Silence is presented as a practice, not an escape. After all the reaching, searching, and asking, silence becomes the space where you hear your own truth and meet yourself as you are, without needing to convince anyone or prove your worth.
No. The song is not against romantic love. Instead, it suggests that authentic love—whether romantic or otherwise—flows from a person who has learned to love themselves first, who speaks their truth freely, and who is no longer looking for another person to complete them or validate their worth.

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